This song is so beautiful:

Sólo Cristo//Hillsong
En reposo, en silencio sé que tú eres Señor.
Al estar en tu presencia sé que hay restauración.
Al oír tu dulce voz, te seguiré mi rey, mi Dios.

No hay nadie como tú, sólo Cristo.
Moriste por mí en la cruz, viviré para alabar.
En el caos, en tormenta sé que
sigues siendo Dios

cuando siento que soy débil me das
la gracia para seguir.
Al oír tu dulce voz, cantaré esta canción.

Mi deleite está en ti,
Mi corazón, toda mi fe
Mi deleite está en ti, por siempre.

crazy

something totally cool happened to me today. I've been sending out support letters for a missions trip that I'm going on this spring break to Nicaragua with Living Water Church, and one of the guys from my church responded to me, saying that he wanted to contribute but he wanted to know a couple things before. He proceeded to ask me a series of questions, like why I was going, how many people were going, what the safety precautions were, and what are itinery was for the trip. Then he shared with me a story of how two friend's of his friend went on a missions trip to Africa one year, to educate people about AIDS. The communities in Africa believe that in order to cure oneself of AIDS you have to sleep with a virgin. So a result of their efforts to serve God, the two girls were raped. My friend asked me to respond to this story, and asked me why God would allow somethign like this to happen. At first, I was a little bit offended, I felt like someone was questioning my intentions for going to Nicaragua, and all the questions he asked me were a little overwhelming, and forced me to go to a place that I did not think necessary. But after I couple days, I responded to his message, answering each question, expecting him to respond with "good job, i think you're ready to go on this missions trip", or something like that. Wow, I can only now realize how prideful I am, and how much I need God's grace.
He responded the same day (today) that I replied to his email, explaining to me that he wasn't a Christian, but that coming to church and talking to people in the church had attracted him to Christianity. That he continues to go to church because of the genuinity (?) of the people, which he is not used to being in the business world. He said that he was encouraged by my email, which he did not expect to be so thorough a response, and that it was people like me that kept him attracted to church. Maaan, God totally blew me away/convicted me of my pride, of how inadequate I am to be used by him, that I coudln't even overcome my judgements of other people and I was so easily overcome by occusations of other people when they made me feel uncomfortable. God showed me that even though I am SO unworthy to be used by Him, He is STILL able to use me, just as He did in that email. God's grace is seriously so amazing, I can't explain how many times I betray Him, but He still is so good to me. I love you, Daddy.

Amazing Grace

I was reading some gchat conversations that I had with some friends about a year ago from now, and wow, it amazes me how far God has brought me within this past year, how much healing he has brought me. I was talking to Debra today about our struggles. Last year, for me especially, I struggled a lot with depression, resulting from a lot of drama going on during senior year, but also as a result of my expectations of people that could not be fulfilled. I've since realized how often I am disappointed when I rely on others to help me through things, when I am "needy" towards other people and when I turn to others in my brokenness. People are always changing, and not many of us are blessed with the ability to care deeply and understand thoroughly the needs and struggles of other people. One thing that I have learned is the importance of turning to God as my healer, my refuge in times of struggle and trial, that when He has given me peace in my heart and assurance of my identity in Him, I am never disappointed when I receive encouragement from a friend afterwards. God is soo faithful, he is so faithful to heal.
With patience and the will to think of only what is edifying to us spiritually, God can teach us how to be faithful. Psalm 37:3 says "Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness".


One thing that my youth pastor told me about the healing process: We often desire for God to heal is immediately. We say, daddy, please heal me now, I just want to feel better. But God needs time, and as we are impatient, we dig ourselves deeper into our sin, making it harder for God to heal our wounds. let's perservere in this race.

Currently listening: India Arie- Testimony Volume 2: Love and Politics :)